https://indianmasterminds.com

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

IAS Officer’s Thread On Getting Rid of Toxic People From Our Lives Goes Viral

2013-batch IAS officer Divya Mittal, who is District Magistrate of Sant Kabir Nagar district of Uttar Pradesh, suggests ways to cut out toxic people from our lives. In a long Twitter thread, she points out typical traits of toxic people so that it’s easier to recognise them and explains why it’s necessary to stay away from them. Toxic people have a way of making us feel drained and diminished, so we cannot perform to the best of our abilities in any exam, at work, or any other activity.
Indian Masterminds Stories

There is no dearth of toxic people in this world. They are there all around us spreading pessimism and negativity. Whether it’s a pessimistic family member, a neighbour who always teases you, a friend who doesn’t respect your time, or a manipulative boss, it’s an unavoidable chain. Sometime, it may just seem just like an inconvenience, but the truth is, these types of persons or individuals could be dangerous to your health, your career, your overall well-being.

If you are an UPSC aspirant, you should be extra aware of this type of people, and stay away from them. Because, being the toughest exam of India, UPSC CSE not only needs more time, but it also needs more concentration. And these toxic people have a way of making you feel drained and diminished, so you cannot do as much as you want in UPSC preparation or in other exam or activity, for that matter. Not only do you have less physical and mental energy after spending time with them, they also have a profound effect on your sense of self.

So, 2013-batch IAS officer and District Magistrate of Sant Kabir Nagar district of Uttar Pradesh, Ms. Divya Mittal suggests ways to cut out such toxic people from our lives. She recently tweeted: “Who are toxic people? Why is it so difficult to cut them out? What to do about it? Having dealt with them myself, a thread on learnings.”

IAS Officer Divya Mittal

RECOGNITION

In the first tweet of the long thread, Ms. Mittal talks about how to recognize the toxic people around us.

“Kinds of toxic people:

1. Judge: You always feel judged in their presence. You can never live up to their standards no matter what you do. They make you feel non-valued.

2. Critic: They always poke holes in your actions and make you feel inadequate.

3. Victim: It is never their fault. They won’t take responsibility. They make you feel guilty for the situation they are in.

4. Manipulator: They want to control your thoughts, words and actions. They make you see the world from their eyes. You depend on them and feel helpless

5. Energy vampire: You don’t understand why, but you feel heavy/ tense around them. When you tell them your problem, they’ll say their problem is bigger. If you tell them a good news, they say you be happy while their life sucks.”

DIFFICULTIES

Then, she focuses upon why people cannot easily leave toxic people around them. She writes: “Why is it so difficult to leave them?

1.  You are a nice person, and feel guilty about abandoning them

2. They are mostly a close relation. A childhood association. Hence, the guilt is even higher.

3. They keep each action small. You are confused if they are really toxic, or you are overreacting.

4. They keep saying they love you or that they are doing it for your benefit.

5. When you try to leave, they use the same toxic behavior even more.”

EXAMPLES

In her next tweet, she proves her verbal theory with examples.

“Judge: I knew you would leave me when your purpose is done.

Critic: You are a bad person and hence leaving me.

Victim: You are leaving me at a time I need you the most.

Manipulator: Will manipulate you into staying.

Energy vampire: Just make you feel heavy.”

DEALING 1

Then, Ms. Mittal talks about how we should all deal with them. She said, “First step is to recognize the toxicity. This is the most difficult!

1. Put yourself first. You have to save yourself before saving anyone. Don’t feel guilty of looking out for yourself.

2. Offer compassion but don’t try to cure them.

3. If you can, cut them out from your life and walk away.”

Credit: Social Media

DEALING 2

If you are someone who cannot follow the above suggested ways to deal with such persons, Ms. Mittal has few other ideas for you. She said, “If you can’t walk away:

4. Talk to them: Examples. I won’t participate in negative discussions. I won’t be ok with criticism, etc.

5. Make yourself unavailable – “I can’t talk right now. I am busy.”

6. Set boundaries – Help them but not at the cost of your sanity.

Maintain calm – They feed on drama. Don’t get drawn in. You need to forgive them to start your own healing. BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER. Forgive, but NEVER forget. Don’t hope that they will change.”

CONCLUSION

She concludes her thread with few positive and very important words: “Your primary responsibility is towards yourself and other positive people in your life. Without being mentally healthy yourself, you can’t perform to the best of your ability. Hope this helps someone facing toxicity.”


Indian Masterminds Stories
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Related Stories
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
NEWS
NALCO
NALCO Refutes Reports of Capex Deferral, Confirms Rs 30,000 Crore Smelter Expansion is on Track - Know the Matter
Northern-Coalfields-Limited-NCL-Resized
NCL Signs MoU to Support Rehabilitation of Persons with Disabilities in Singrauli - All Details Inside
Ruchika Chauhan IAS
Leading By Example: Gwalior DC Ruchika Chauhan Arrives At Her Office Boarding An E-Rickshaw! Delivers A Strong Message On World Environment Day
KVIC Khadi and Village Industries
KVIC Disburses Rs. 300 Crore Margin Money Subsidy Under PMEGP to Boost Self-Employment - Details Inside
HUDCO New Logo
HUDCO Champions Green Urban Development on World Environment Day 2025
Mayur Dixit IAS
Who is IAS Mayur Dixit, the New DM of Haridwar? Uttarakhand Bureaucracy in Buzz Amid Land Scam Fallout
Prime Minister’s Museum & Library, Delhi1
IRSME Ashwani Lohani Appointed Director of Prime Minister’s Museum & Library, Delhi - Know More About Him & the Historic Institution
World Environment Day
PSUs Observe World Environment Day 2025 with Strong Commitment to Sustainability and Green Practices - Check Here!
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Videos
Monika Singh
Monika Singh’s Life Beyond the Bureaucracy | Video Interview 
IAS Tushar G Nikhare
Modernising Governance: A Digital Transformation in Gangtok
IMG-20250523-WA0036
Abhishek Singh's SECRET: Vipassana, Anthropology & Smart Answer Writing | Video Interview 
ADVERTISEMENT
UPSC Stories
Divyanshu Pal Nagar IFS
5 Years, 5 Mains, 4 Interviews: How Divyanshu Pal Nagar Stumbled in CSE, Triumphed in IFS - A Lesson for Every Aspirant
Divyanshu Pal Nagar’s inspiring five-year UPSC journey shows how perseverance, disciplined self-study,...
ANUBHAV SINGH UPSC IFS 2024
9 Years, 8 Attempts, 7 Failures: How Anubhav Singh Cracked UPSC IFS 2024 with AIR 3 Against All Odds | Exclusive
Anubhav Singh’s inspiring journey to UPSC IFS Rank 3 showcases relentless perseverance, strategic preparation,...
Jogender Sihag
“I Cleared UPSC, But My Grandfather isn’t Here to Hear it,” Jogender Sihag, AIR 521, UPSC CSE 2024
"Life is short; make the most of it, whether in civil service or any other field. Just have a clear vision...
Social Media
Tiger jump Sundarban
Stunning Viral Video Shows Royal Bengal Tiger Making Spectacular 30-Foot Leap Across River in Sunderbans - See It Here
Retired Indian Forest Service (IFS) officer Susanta Nanda shared the clip online, which quickly went...
shubham kumar ias marriage
IAS Topper Weds BPSC Topper: Shubham Kumar Marries IRS Officer Priyangi Mehta in Patna; Wedding Video Goes Viral
Topper Couple Alert: Shubham Kumar, Priyangi Mehta’s Wedding Grabs Spotlight in Bihar
parveen kaswan elephant
Elephant Outsmarts Electric Fence! IFS Parveen Kaswan Shares Incredible Video!
In the now-viral 51-second clip, the intelligent giant approaches a wooden pole supporting high-voltage...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Latest
NALCO
NALCO Refutes Reports of Capex Deferral, Confirms Rs 30,000 Crore Smelter Expansion is on Track - Know the Matter
Northern-Coalfields-Limited-NCL-Resized
NCL Signs MoU to Support Rehabilitation of Persons with Disabilities in Singrauli - All Details Inside
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Videos
Monika Singh
IAS Tushar G Nikhare
IMG-20250523-WA0036
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT