Overthinking is one of the many reasons for the rising cases of anxiety and depression among people. When our mind overthinks, it exaggerates an issue or a problem and overwhelms us. It makes a molehill appear as a mountain in front of us and can paralyse us with fear and worries. As a candidate of UPSC CSE, or any other exam for that matter, one has to be more conscious about not indulging in overthinking.
2013-batch IAS officer and DM of Sant Kabir Nagar, Uttar Pradesh, Divya Mittal, who frequently comes on social media with guidance and counseling for day-to-day problems, have some tips for how to avoid overthinking. She tweeted: “If you overthink, this is for you. Develop the right mindset to transform your life.”
CAUSES OF OVERTHINKING
In her first tweet, Ms. Mittal writes about how overthinking causes many problems. “Overthinking is extremely debilitating. It –
-Causes anxiety & action paralysis.
-You end up wasting hours and days obsessing.
-Leads to stress and in extreme cases depression.”
-Makes you achieve way less than your capability.”
TYPES OF OVERTHINKING
In her second tweet, she talks about the types of overthinking. “Overthinking is of the following kinds –
a) Regretting the past
b) Indecisiveness about current choices.
c) Obsession over the future.
d) Over-reading others’ opinion of us.
e) Obsession with perfection.
Let’s dig into each of these and find right mindsets.”
REGRETTING THE PAST
Her next tweet discusses the types of overthinking in details. First, she talks about “regretting the past”.
“Ruminating about the past is the easiest way to spoil your future. What you generally obsess about:
-You could have responded better.
-What if you would have taken the other path.
-Why did something bad happen to you.”
SELF-COMPASSION MINDSET
She follows it up with suggestions on how one can overcome this mindset. Her tweet reads: “Self-Compassion Mindset-
-If u considered all factors, it was the right decision at that time. Beware of hindsight bias. You have no way to know the future.
-Use the past to prepare for future challenges
-Be kind to yourself!
-Forgive yourself, forgive others and move on!”
INDECISIVENESS
Then, she comes to the second type of overthinking, that is indecisiveness. She tweets: “You continue to be stuck on pros and cons of various options and are unable to decide. You are afraid of making the wrong choice.
By doing this, you keep postponing the decision making. This obsession leads to sub-optimal choices.”
REGRET MINIMIZATION MINDSET
In her next tweet, she discussesin detail about indecisiveness in current choices and gives suggestions to cope with it and defeat it. “Regret minimization mindset-
-Think 1 year, 10 years, 30 years in the future. Which decision would cause minimum regret. Decide accordingly.
-Jeff Bezos decided to quit his job and start Amazon as he would have found a job again, but not starting Amazon would have caused major regret.”
OBSESSION WITH THE FUTURE
In her next tweet, she sheds light on the third type of overthinking – obsession over the future. “Think of the worst case. It may not be as bad as fear tells you.
A friend wanted to quit IIM as she feared failing an exam. Feared not being able to complete MBA. Worst case was anyways that. There was no harm trying. She tried & won.”
PROCESS MINDSET
Her next tweet talks about how you have to fight “obsession over the future.” She suggests process mindset.
“Instead of worrying about things not in your hands, measure input. Like hours of work, no of pages written, lines of code, etc.
Make a schedule/plan and stick to it.
Keep taking small steps.
Enjoy the journey, else, the destination may be meaningless.”
OVER READING OTHERS’ OPINIONS
In her next tweet, Ms. Mittal talks about the fourth type of overthinking, which is “over-reading others’ opinions”.
She tweets: “We try to fit into other’s version of us. By doing that, we lose our individuality. It’s very debilitating. Makes us feel inadequate and unworthy. You can never please everyone, no matter how much you try.”
“Just be the best version of yourself.”
CAREFREE MINDSET
She continues… “No one cares too much about what you do. They just make passing remarks & forget. Why bother.
-No one has the right to judge you.
-Love yourself.
Who you see in the mirror is the only person that matters.”
OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION
Some people have a fixation for perfection. This is also a kind of overthinking. Ms Mittal writes about this obsession with perfection.
“Perfection is the enemy of the perfectly adequate. We keep trying to make small changes till we feel it is perfect.
But beyond a point, it is not about improvement anymore, just becomes unnecessary criticism of ourselves.”
DELIVERY MINDSET
Then, she suggests how one can try to overcome such a problem of over perfection with a delivery mindset.
“Don’t try to be perfect. Try to make it work.
-Any great thing is built layer by layer. Work on the 1st layer.
-You will get a chance to improve later.
-As experience grows, you will do better.
– If you put your heart in it, it will be beautiful.”
ACTIVITY THAT CAN HELP
In her next tweet, she suggests some life-building activities that we must practice.
1. Meditation
2. Deep Breathing
3. Self Compassion
4. Staying in the present
Take small steps
1. Collaborate with people.
2. Seek help from others.
3. Make a plan and stick to it.
4. Help others; you will end up helping yourself.
CONCLUSION
She concludes her long thread with some beautiful words. “I know it is easier said than done. But you must try. Other people can help, but only you can save yourself. There are 100 reasons for you to not be able to do something; there is only 1 reason to do it. That you have decided!
Be positive! Be action-oriented! Be peaceful.”
