Our society forces us to think that a woman’s professional or personal life ends when she gets married. They make us believe that now this woman belongs to her husband and his family and her sole motive in life is to look after them and be by their side at all times. And likewise, once she becomes a mother, she should dedicate herself entirely to looking after the young ones and raising them properly. Amongst all of this, the women never get time for themselves or to pursue what they desired in the first place.
But such is not the case with IAS officer Dr. Anupama Singh, who left behind her well-paying job, her family, and her three-year-old son- to prepare for UPSC examinations.
EARLY LIFE
Born and brought up in Kankarbhagh, Patna in Bihar, Ms. Singh completed her Class 10 from Mount Carmel High School in 2002. Since she was a little girl, she dreamt of just one thing – to help the people in need, whenever and however she could. As she grew older, she realized she could accomplish her dream by becoming a doctor and by treating patients.
Therefore she cleared the entrance exam and got admission to Patna Medical and College Hospital in 2011, from where she completed her MBBS graduation in gynecology and pursued her Masters in Surgery (MS) from Banaras Hindu University, Banaras in 2014.
DISAPPOINTED WITH THE SYSTEM
Ms. Singh was happily doing her practice as a doctor in a well-known government hospital when she got married to Dr. Ravindra Kumar, who is also a doctor by profession, and soon gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, who she named Anay.
She had been in the service for three years when she realized the poor condition of government hospitals. “After practicing for two years, I realized that there is a need for transformation in the health system. As a doctor, I was treating patients but improving the poor medical system was not in my hands. I wanted to make government medical facilities better and stronger for the public, and this thought triggered me to get in civil services” she stated in an interview.
LEAVING HER FAMILY BEHIND
Ms. Singh knew that if she really wanted to change the system for good and get into the civil services, she would have to prepare for the UPSC exam wholeheartedly and without any distractions. It was not possible to prepare seriously while working a full-time job and looking after her family. Therefore, she decided to take the difficult step of leaving her young son behind and live in another city to prepare for her examination.
“Studies after marriage and kids are a lot tougher than a pre-marriage phase. There is a responsibility on one’s shoulder and an emotional bond with a kid. Unfortunately, my mother and father-in-law are no more, so my husband took care of my son in my absence. My sister-in-law moved to Ranchi especially to look after my son. My son Anay was 3-year-old when I decided to move to Delhi for preparation. Parting away from my son was the most difficult thing for me,” she said.
To prepare with utmost concentration, Ms. Singh resigned from her job, left the city and moved to Delhi.
A STEP FURTHER TO HER DESTINATION
Ms. Singh arrived in Delhi for preparing for UPSC in 2018, for which she enrolled herself into a private coaching institute. She started preparing in full swing as she wanted to accomplish her dream as soon as possible. She had no other choice as she had also quit her job and would not have anything to go back to, in case she did not clear the exam. Every passing day made it more difficult for her to stay away from her baby, but she did not back out and continued to prepare diligently.
She recalled: “After classes, I used to read books, newspapers, magazines and prepare notes. I used to interact with my son over video calls. I missed a phase of his childhood and his activities. But instead of thinking to return leaving preparation halfway, I used to think that I should focus to achieve target soon for getting back home.”
VICTORY AT LAST
Ms. Singh gave CSE-2019 and eagerly waited for the result. Her efforts did not go in vain and she was on cloud nine when she saw the result and realized that she had cleared the UPSC examination in the first attempt, with an All India Rank of 90!
“My husband and my family members have played a great role in my success. I returned to my home in September 2019 and Anay was 5 by then. My sacrifice paid off. I can proudly share my UPSC-cracking-story with my son when he grows up,” she said in the interview.
While many of us think getting married and having kids could end our professional dreams, Anupama Singh from Patna has proved them otherwise.
