In an age where everyone is aspiring to ‘become,’ Kartikeya Vajpai offers a powerful counter-narrative story of ‘unbecoming.’ An ex-cricketer himself, Vajpai has based his debut novel around two principal protagonists: a beloved cricketer named Siddharth Kapoor (also referred to as the ‘God of Offside’) and his estranged coach Ajay Goswami. The two reconnect after a nuanced conversation which takes place at the Bodhik retreat Centre at Mcleod Ganj, the spiritual and temporal headquarters of His Holiness the fourteenth Dalai Lama. In his Foreword to the book, the Dalai Lama writes that this novel ‘encourages readers to begin their own journey of self-discovery, freeing themselves from ego and attachments while embracing life’s impermanence as a path to deeper happiness and fulfilment’
Siddharth is a quintessential high-performer, whose success on the cricket field is the stuff of legend. His resolve is second to none, as is his commitment to practice regularly and make improvements based on the reviews of his mentor Ajay. But, as he achieves meteoric success, media attention and fawning fans create a superstar halo which can be blinding. Siddharth begins to believe in his own invincibility. When Ajay tries to counsel him, he snubs him publicly: “I am too big a player to be advised by you. What level of cricket have you ever played? You were a state-level player who couldn’t even make it to the national team, and you have the audacity to advise me!” From this point of hubris, it is a downhill climb for Siddharth, both internally and externally.
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The impact of this public spat is even more damaging for Ajay who withdraws into a shell until his old friends Prashant and Rita bring him to their hometown Kolkata and resurrect his confidence. They advise that contributions cannot be held hostage to other people’s points of view and suggest that Ajay take a ten-day retreat at a meditation centre in McLeod Ganj with Master Purohit, an exponent of Vedanta and Buddhist philosophy. The retreat begins with questions: Who are you? Do we truly know ourselves? Why do we feel frustration and dissatisfaction? Why do we resist change?
Over the next few days, especially during the pre-meditation morning walks, Master Purohit tells Ajay that resistance born from attachment to the current ‘role’ makes it difficult to accept change, which eventually leads to regrets: ‘… the more you delve into acceptance and truth, the more comforting life will be.’ Identity is a ‘role,’ and once the role-play is over, it is time to move on. ‘Let life happen to you. When you are fully immersed in the present, you are in a mode of acceptance. This state holds limitless possibilities.’ And one of these possibilities was that of Ajay staying on at the Retreat and taking the vows of monkhood, which included ‘absence from lying , stealing, engaging in sexual conduct, gossip or speaking ill of others, of weighing words carefully before speaking, and uttering them only for the betterment of others.’
It is to this ‘monk’ Ajay that Siddharth turns after serial batting failures make him a fallen hero. The media is a fickle friend, and now that Siddharth is in need of solace, none is forthcoming. In desperation, he seeks out his former coach only to learn that he has left the world of cricket for a monastery in the hills of McLeod Ganj – solitude in the silence of the Himalayas as a catalyst for internal introspection. When Siddharth touches his mentor’s feet, Ajay tells him, ‘I am a monk now, and my journey into monkhood began only when I could fully forgive both you, and the person I used to be. In reality, you were a medium for me to embark on this path. In a way, you helped me become who I am today, and for that I am truly grateful.’
The God of Offside takes a ten-day retreat at the Centre, and begins to grasp the concept of Aham Brahmasmi – ‘I am the absolute and infinite reality. I am one with everything … your limited self-perception is your adversary.’ Siddharth is a new person after the retreat. His existential obsession with himself in external validation disappears. As he tells his better half Shraddha: ‘I have realized that success is not just personal effort, it’s also the support of others… While I may be the face of success, the true heroes are those who empower me to perform on the field, the uncelebrated but essential.’ There is an overall change in Siddharth’s demeanor and relationships on and off the field. When the monk read the news of him being Man of the Match on an Australia tour, he was not surprised!
When Siddharth comes calling after his Australian sojourn, Ajay explains the concept of Nishkama karma – action with detachment, as a means to enhance our ability to function effectively. Armed with this understanding, Siddharth plays the lead role in winning the 2023 World Cup at Eden Gardens in Kolkata, with 80,000 spectators roaring in celebration. Siddharth returns to McLeod Ganj, and discusses his plans of Guru Dakshina to Ajay. ‘an institution that trains young athletes and sport together will produce complete sportsmen…this approach will not only raise the bar in terms of sports performance, but will also help in cultivating proud citizens for our country.’ Vajpai ends this story with a dedication to the ‘superhero within the reader – that is , you. My aspiration is for you to discover the Siddharth within yourself…’
Before I close, here some interesting nuggets which help us reflect on the milestones in the history of our nation. Till the middle of the last decade , Kolkata still had ‘yellow ladybirds’ – the iconic ‘yellow- black’ ambassador taxis – and the two-thousand-rupee note was still in circulation . One realizes that almost a decade has passed since demonetization. This also leaves us with the realization of the ephemerality of everything in the material world !
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